[ After his conversation with Ham, Tenn knows exactly where he's going and what he's going to do, no questions asked. He passes by everyone he runs into along the way, sparing only a wave or nod of acknowledgement if he needs to before he makes his way back to the housing area.
It's inconvenient that he and Riku are on opposite sides of the area, but it's alright. Riku's room number is at least easy enough to remember.
He promptly knocks on Riku's door, hoping that he'll be inside. ]
[ It doesn't take long at all for Riku to answer the door. Actually... if Tenn's paying attention, he might hear a dull thud. Did Riku fall off the bed in his scramble to get to the door....?
He'll never admit it. Unless Tenn asks.
Either way, he opens the door, greeting his brother with a smile. ]
[ His eyes flicker to the blankets before they close for a moment. Tenn sighs and makes his way over towards Riku's bed, making himself at home by sitting on the edge of it. ]
Never mind. We have other things we should talk about.
[ He clasps his hands together in his lap, leaning forward. ]
[ Though he suspects that won't happen for some...pretty fucked up reasons. Wanting to keep Riku alive to see him fall, etc. Who knows...god. Tenn feels sick just thinking about it. ]
You still seem like you're in high spirits, despite everything.
[ But it's Tenn, so whatever he did to make sure Riku gets his medicine... ah, even Tenn-nii can be scary, too.
He's quiet, though, at that. Riku looks thoughtful. ]
Actually... I'm kind of worried. What he said... no one really knows each other here, except for a few of us. There are people who need things desperately... using that against them is really awful. I might not be willing to take someone's life just for a wish, especially one we don't even know will get granted afterward...
But you were right, Tenn-nii. Not everyone is like that. I don't want to think badly of anyone here, especially because I don't know them, but...
[ He sighs and hangs his head. ]
I guess all we can really do is watch after each other.
[ There we go. He's glad Riku isn't being blindly optimistic about this; that's what would get him into trouble. He's quiet as Riku speaks, and his expression mellows out a little when he realizes Riku's taking this seriously. ]
That really is all we can do. I don't know who else to trust, but I know you'd never stoop that low to chase after your dreams, Riku.
[ So, yes, Tenn's absolutely saying that he trusts him. ]
For now, we should tell each other what we can. Who seems trustworthy and who seems like they're up to something. It's too early to make any assessments right now, but I will tell you one thing.
[ His eyes narrow. He looks serious. ]
Be careful around Moriarty-san. He's intelligent, and observant. He caught on to the fact that we're related; he pulled me aside after Hamelin's spiel to ask if we were.
I don't know what he plans on doing with that information.
[ Riku nods. Tenn's right; they have each other here. And Tenn had gone to the trouble of talking to Hamelin about Riku's medicine. That's important to him. Besides...
He loves Tenn. Of course he's going to share things. He can't not.
At that, though, Riku straightens up slightly. ]
He asked me, too. I was surprised he figured it out so quickly, but... I'll be careful around him.
Don't tell him more than he needs to know from now on -- though that should apply to everyone else here for the time being. We'll have a better idea of who we can count on down the line, if anyone strikes me as being trustworthy.
[ Sorry, Riku, but he's only naming himself there because he really does not trust your judgment on this. You are far too trusting, in his opinion, and a bad liar.
That is most certainly a problem now, but they'll get to that when they get there. ]
I don't want to lose sight of helping everyone get out of here, though. Even if not everyone is trustworthy, none of us asked to be in this situation.
As far as I'm concerned, Moriarty-san is the most suspicious of everyone I've met so far. That being said, Edelgard von Hresvelg and McGillis seem like they know what they're doing and what they're capable of. I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing just yet. Zola seems a little too cunning for me to be comfortable around her.
[ ... ]
Yor-san, C-ta, and Suga-san seem trustworthy enough, but I'm hesitant to take everyone at face value right now. Fujishiro Nageki -- the giant bird -- is straightforward enough to where I don't want to believe he's dangerous.
Riku had known the risk was real. He'd known. But he had hoped-- he had hoped desperately that no one would do something so horrible. And to Sami...
He hates this. Hates that they're in this, that Sami's gone and he won't see her or talk to her again. Riku feels adrift, like he's lost at sea, and he doesn't know what to do.
He sees Tenn, and suddenly, he's scared all over again. What if, next time, it's-- ]
[ He's with Riku when the body announcement happens. He feels like he should step outside, go and see her or help or something, but he's paralyzed. He's paralyzed with fear, doubt, grief -- that this happened to someone as sweet and earnest as Sami makes him scared for Riku's fate.
He looks over at Riku. His brow is furrowed, and while the lesser part of him is telling him to hold back, to not get too soft with him for both of their sakes...
He can't not put a hand on Riku's shoulder and look at him directly. His gaze is pained. He feels like he has to be strong, but in this very vulnerable moment he's having, he can't be. He squeezes Riku's shoulder tightly.
Riku puts his hand over Tenn's. He wants, more than anything, to collapse onto him. To hug him tight, but he holds back. Still, he feels more of those tears coming on, and he bows his head. Already, he feels wrung out, drained, exhausted in a way he's never felt. It's bone-deep and painful, losing someone so completely.
[ He shifts a little and takes Riku's hand in both of his. The last time he said this to him was when Riku was furious with him -- this time, it'll be different. Maybe they'll finally, finally listen to each other. ]
We've been together since we were kids. I meant it when I said not a day went by where I didn't think of you at least once.
[ His hands tighten around Riku's, and he does his best to try and stop his palms from shaking, too. ]
I won't let anything happen to you. So...please...
[ His head is still bowed, even when Tenn says his name. But he listens to what his brother says. He can't forget how angry he'd been with Tenn, before... but...
I won't let anything happen to you.
He looks at him.
For so long, Riku's felt like they've been standing at opposite sides of a vast, unending canyon. Ever since becoming an idol, he's tried to bridge that. Tenn's right, after all; they've been together, ever since the beginning. The distance between them had been unbearably painful.
He meets Tenn's eyes, and that pain in Tenn's voice... it cuts deep. He swallows hard, and his eyes sting again. And Riku--
He closes that distance, and he hugs Tenn tight. ]
I'll protect Tenn-nii, too. [ He hides his face against Tenn's shoulder. ] I refuse to leave here without you. I refuse to look those people who love you in the eye and tell them I couldn't bring you with me. So let me protect you, too.
[ He lifts his head and looks at Tenn, ever stubborn. Ever steadfast. ]
[ He's not surprised when Riku draws him in for an embrace. Tenn doesn't return it at first -- again, that smaller part of him is telling him to push Riku away, to not get too close -- but the thought that he might lose Riku any day at any moment is enough to move him forward. He returns the hug and ducks his head so his forehead is touching Riku's shoulder.
He doesn't want to listen to any of this. He doesn't want to hear Riku's resolve to protect him -- his brother shouldn't risk his life for his sake. Tenn is older and wiser. This is his situation to manage, not Riku's. Riku should have never been brought here to begin with.
Even so, he can't help it. Riku's words sting, and he chokes out a quiet sob. His fingers curl into the fabric of his brother's shirt; he feels like he should hold onto him as tightly as he can.
He hates that it took this to get them here. Riku hates that Tenn's here, too, with him, even if being here alone would make him unbearably lonely.
But if he lost Tenn-- nothing is worth that. Not even this. Especially not this. But Riku can't turn back time; he can't change what Hamelin's done. That thought makes him so angry, but all he does is hold Tenn closer. Like Tenn'll slip out of his grasp if he lets go for a moment.
His heart breaks when he hears that sob, too. When was the last time he heard that...? All it does is solidify his resolve.
He won't let anything happen to his brother. Not if he can help it. ]
[ After Tenn's outburst earlier, Riku-- well. He's feeling kind of sore. He's mostly quiet until they get to their room, at which point he turns to Tenn. ]
[ He closes the door behind them and takes in a shaky breath. ]
I thought that if you found out about what he did, you might have done something that would jeopardize your safety. It's why I was thinking about keeping this from everyone...but... I thought it was best to share the weapon just in case anything happened.
Riku's still upset. But he can't stay angry when Tenn's so shaken up. Whatever happened... well, Riku has no idea, but it's not good.
He closes the distance between them and takes Tenn's hands in his own, if he allows it. ]
Tenn-nii... you were really scared, weren't you?
[ He's so used to Tenn being unshakeable. Having a handle on his emotions. This is a raw, vulnerable side of Tenn, and Riku-- he hates Hamelin for this. ]
[ He'll allow Riku to do that. There's so much he's done and wants to do to try and keep Riku safe, and knowing that Hamelin is such a threat is terrifying. Not just for Riku's sake, but for his own, too.
He doesn't know how much longer he can do this without breaking down completely.
He bites down on his lower lip, trying to fight back the tears stinging at his eyes. He doesn't know what to do, anymore. ]
Don't mess with him, Riku... Don't make the same mistakes I have.
[ Well... Tenn sure knows Riku well. Riku wants nothing more than to march up to Hamelin's office and-- and--
And what? Riku isn't a fighter. He can't even get through an encore without collapsing. What can he do, against someone like Hamelin? It stings, the knowledge that he's helpless, but...
That's not entirely true, though, is it? Even if he can't do anything against Hamelin, he can do something for Tenn. He squeezes his twin's hands, then pulls him into a tight hug.
It occurs to him that he can't remember the last time Tenn cried. ]
I won't. Promise. [ He doesn't let go, either. ] We're a team, right? The centers of TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7 will show Hamelin, in our own way.
[ Tenn's good at keeping his walls up, putting up a cold front and not letting people get too close. He's good at being tenacious and unwavering in the face of adversity.
Those adversities, however, did not include having to fight for his life or watch the people around him disappear, one by one. He's okay at putting on a strong face in front of everyone else, but when it comes to Riku, when it comes to these kinds of conversations, he finds it so hard to stay strong.
It's because he's so afraid of his biggest fear coming true. He doesn't want to lose Riku. There's so much time he feels like he has to make up for that was lost between them. So many times he pushed Riku down and away that he's starting to regret the longer he stays here. Their time together may very well be limited, as much as he tries to believe it won't be -- but reality always hits him. They're no match for some of the people here. They're easy targets.
There is only so much he can really do for Riku, in the end.
And so Kujo Tenn cries on Riku's shoulder. Riku's here, trying to lift him up, but right now he feels so small. ]
[ Riku feels Tenn's tears through his shirt, and-- and his heart breaks. Tenn's always been so strong, the one to push himself even when he's feeling less than okay. But now, Tenn is leaning on Riku. He's counting on him. He doesn't say that, but... he doesn't have to.
Tenn is sharing something fragile and vulnerable, and as Riku holds him, he can't help but think he's protecting him like this. And Riku won't let anything happen to Tenn, not if he can help it. ]
I'm here, Tenn-nii...
[ His voice shakes; his throat feels tight. But it's the only thing he can think to say. ]
[ For all the mean things Tenn's said to Riku, he really couldn't have asked to have a better twin. He's getting Riku's sleeve all wet with his tears, but he can't help it. Losing Riku would feel like losing a part of himself, and there's always that nagging feeling that someday, he'll disappear and they'll never be able to make up for that lost time he thinks about so often.
A few long moments later, Tenn finally seems to start calming down. ]
...Sorry. You have to see your older brother in such a pathetic state.
[ Maybe it's foolishly optimistic to believe that they'll make it out together, make it out safe... but Riku believes that with his whole heart. He believes that by the time this is all over, they'll be together and stronger because of everything. Of course, Riku doesn't want anyone else to die.
Especially not Tenn. And he definitely doesn't want to die, either. Thinking about him or Tenn dying-- it terrifies him, more than anything.
... But in spite of that, they're both still standing. More importantly, they're together, and Tenn is trusting Riku with this part of him. He remembers a conversation they'd had earlier in the week, when Riku had asked if it was wrong to be happy.
He lets out a quiet hum, squeezing Tenn gently. ]
I don't think being scared is pathetic. [ It's earnest and honest in that way Riku tends to be. ] Even when you're scared... I'll never think of Tenn-nii as pathetic. After all... Tenn-nii is the amazing brother I love more than anything.
Then... from now on, keep watching me, Tenn-nii. So you won't be so surprised next time. I'll show you how strong I am--strong enough to keep us both standing here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 0
It's inconvenient that he and Riku are on opposite sides of the area, but it's alright. Riku's room number is at least easy enough to remember.
He promptly knocks on Riku's door, hoping that he'll be inside. ]
Riku, it's me.
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He'll never admit it. Unless Tenn asks.
Either way, he opens the door, greeting his brother with a smile. ]
Tenn-nii!
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What was that noise?
[ Did you trip over yourself, Riku. What did he say about being careful!!! ]
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Aha, what noise?
[ Convincing! Nevermind that the blankets are halfway on the ground. ]
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Never mind. We have other things we should talk about.
[ He clasps his hands together in his lap, leaning forward. ]
Hamelin said you'll get your medication.
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Really?! Tenn-nii, thank you! Aha, you really saved me...
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[ Though he suspects that won't happen for some...pretty fucked up reasons. Wanting to keep Riku alive to see him fall, etc. Who knows...god. Tenn feels sick just thinking about it. ]
You still seem like you're in high spirits, despite everything.
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[ But it's Tenn, so whatever he did to make sure Riku gets his medicine... ah, even Tenn-nii can be scary, too.
He's quiet, though, at that. Riku looks thoughtful. ]
Actually... I'm kind of worried. What he said... no one really knows each other here, except for a few of us. There are people who need things desperately... using that against them is really awful. I might not be willing to take someone's life just for a wish, especially one we don't even know will get granted afterward...
But you were right, Tenn-nii. Not everyone is like that. I don't want to think badly of anyone here, especially because I don't know them, but...
[ He sighs and hangs his head. ]
I guess all we can really do is watch after each other.
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That really is all we can do. I don't know who else to trust, but I know you'd never stoop that low to chase after your dreams, Riku.
[ So, yes, Tenn's absolutely saying that he trusts him. ]
For now, we should tell each other what we can. Who seems trustworthy and who seems like they're up to something. It's too early to make any assessments right now, but I will tell you one thing.
[ His eyes narrow. He looks serious. ]
Be careful around Moriarty-san. He's intelligent, and observant. He caught on to the fact that we're related; he pulled me aside after Hamelin's spiel to ask if we were.
I don't know what he plans on doing with that information.
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He loves Tenn. Of course he's going to share things. He can't not.
At that, though, Riku straightens up slightly. ]
He asked me, too. I was surprised he figured it out so quickly, but... I'll be careful around him.
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[ Sorry, Riku, but he's only naming himself there because he really does not trust your judgment on this. You are far too trusting, in his opinion, and a bad liar.
That is most certainly a problem now, but they'll get to that when they get there. ]
I don't want to lose sight of helping everyone get out of here, though. Even if not everyone is trustworthy, none of us asked to be in this situation.
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[ He says that, but... Riku knows he's perhaps more forthcoming than he should be sometimes. ]
Ah, though... Tenn-nii, is there anyone else we should be wary of? You're better at this than I am, so...
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[ ... ]
Yor-san, C-ta, and Suga-san seem trustworthy enough, but I'm hesitant to take everyone at face value right now. Fujishiro Nageki -- the giant bird -- is straightforward enough to where I don't want to believe he's dangerous.
I don't have strong opinions on anyone else.
right after body announcement :(
Riku had known the risk was real. He'd known. But he had hoped-- he had hoped desperately that no one would do something so horrible. And to Sami...
He hates this. Hates that they're in this, that Sami's gone and he won't see her or talk to her again. Riku feels adrift, like he's lost at sea, and he doesn't know what to do.
He sees Tenn, and suddenly, he's scared all over again. What if, next time, it's-- ]
Tenn-nii...
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He looks over at Riku. His brow is furrowed, and while the lesser part of him is telling him to hold back, to not get too soft with him for both of their sakes...
He can't not put a hand on Riku's shoulder and look at him directly. His gaze is pained. He feels like he has to be strong, but in this very vulnerable moment he's having, he can't be. He squeezes Riku's shoulder tightly.
I'm not losing you. ]
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Riku puts his hand over Tenn's. He wants, more than anything, to collapse onto him. To hug him tight, but he holds back. Still, he feels more of those tears coming on, and he bows his head. Already, he feels wrung out, drained, exhausted in a way he's never felt. It's bone-deep and painful, losing someone so completely.
Under Tenn's hand, his shoulders shake. ]
1/2
[ He shifts a little and takes Riku's hand in both of his. The last time he said this to him was when Riku was furious with him -- this time, it'll be different. Maybe they'll finally, finally listen to each other. ]
We've been together since we were kids. I meant it when I said not a day went by where I didn't think of you at least once.
[ His hands tighten around Riku's, and he does his best to try and stop his palms from shaking, too. ]
I won't let anything happen to you. So...please...
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[ His voice is shaky, and his tone is almost pleading. ]
You have a family waiting for you back at home.
[ Their parents. IDOLiSH7. ]
I'll protect you. There's so much you have to live for, Riku.
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I won't let anything happen to you.
He looks at him.
For so long, Riku's felt like they've been standing at opposite sides of a vast, unending canyon. Ever since becoming an idol, he's tried to bridge that. Tenn's right, after all; they've been together, ever since the beginning. The distance between them had been unbearably painful.
He meets Tenn's eyes, and that pain in Tenn's voice... it cuts deep. He swallows hard, and his eyes sting again. And Riku--
He closes that distance, and he hugs Tenn tight. ]
I'll protect Tenn-nii, too. [ He hides his face against Tenn's shoulder. ] I refuse to leave here without you. I refuse to look those people who love you in the eye and tell them I couldn't bring you with me. So let me protect you, too.
[ He lifts his head and looks at Tenn, ever stubborn. Ever steadfast. ]
Let me watch over you for once.
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He doesn't want to listen to any of this. He doesn't want to hear Riku's resolve to protect him -- his brother shouldn't risk his life for his sake. Tenn is older and wiser. This is his situation to manage, not Riku's. Riku should have never been brought here to begin with.
Even so, he can't help it. Riku's words sting, and he chokes out a quiet sob. His fingers curl into the fabric of his brother's shirt; he feels like he should hold onto him as tightly as he can.
Before it's too late. ]
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He hates that it took this to get them here. Riku hates that Tenn's here, too, with him, even if being here alone would make him unbearably lonely.
But if he lost Tenn-- nothing is worth that. Not even this. Especially not this. But Riku can't turn back time; he can't change what Hamelin's done. That thought makes him so angry, but all he does is hold Tenn closer. Like Tenn'll slip out of his grasp if he lets go for a moment.
His heart breaks when he hears that sob, too. When was the last time he heard that...? All it does is solidify his resolve.
He won't let anything happen to his brother. Not if he can help it. ]
week 2, thursday, post-meeting
What did you want to talk about?
[ It's pretty obvious he's still upset. ]
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[ He closes the door behind them and takes in a shaky breath. ]
I thought that if you found out about what he did, you might have done something that would jeopardize your safety. It's why I was thinking about keeping this from everyone...but... I thought it was best to share the weapon just in case anything happened.
[ His hands are starting to shake again. ]
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Riku's still upset. But he can't stay angry when Tenn's so shaken up. Whatever happened... well, Riku has no idea, but it's not good.
He closes the distance between them and takes Tenn's hands in his own, if he allows it. ]
Tenn-nii... you were really scared, weren't you?
[ He's so used to Tenn being unshakeable. Having a handle on his emotions. This is a raw, vulnerable side of Tenn, and Riku-- he hates Hamelin for this. ]
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He doesn't know how much longer he can do this without breaking down completely.
He bites down on his lower lip, trying to fight back the tears stinging at his eyes. He doesn't know what to do, anymore. ]
Don't mess with him, Riku... Don't make the same mistakes I have.
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And what? Riku isn't a fighter. He can't even get through an encore without collapsing. What can he do, against someone like Hamelin? It stings, the knowledge that he's helpless, but...
That's not entirely true, though, is it? Even if he can't do anything against Hamelin, he can do something for Tenn. He squeezes his twin's hands, then pulls him into a tight hug.
It occurs to him that he can't remember the last time Tenn cried. ]
I won't. Promise. [ He doesn't let go, either. ] We're a team, right? The centers of TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7 will show Hamelin, in our own way.
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Those adversities, however, did not include having to fight for his life or watch the people around him disappear, one by one. He's okay at putting on a strong face in front of everyone else, but when it comes to Riku, when it comes to these kinds of conversations, he finds it so hard to stay strong.
It's because he's so afraid of his biggest fear coming true. He doesn't want to lose Riku. There's so much time he feels like he has to make up for that was lost between them. So many times he pushed Riku down and away that he's starting to regret the longer he stays here. Their time together may very well be limited, as much as he tries to believe it won't be -- but reality always hits him. They're no match for some of the people here. They're easy targets.
There is only so much he can really do for Riku, in the end.
And so Kujo Tenn cries on Riku's shoulder. Riku's here, trying to lift him up, but right now he feels so small. ]
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Tenn is sharing something fragile and vulnerable, and as Riku holds him, he can't help but think he's protecting him like this. And Riku won't let anything happen to Tenn, not if he can help it. ]
I'm here, Tenn-nii...
[ His voice shakes; his throat feels tight. But it's the only thing he can think to say. ]
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A few long moments later, Tenn finally seems to start calming down. ]
...Sorry. You have to see your older brother in such a pathetic state.
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Especially not Tenn. And he definitely doesn't want to die, either. Thinking about him or Tenn dying-- it terrifies him, more than anything.
... But in spite of that, they're both still standing. More importantly, they're together, and Tenn is trusting Riku with this part of him. He remembers a conversation they'd had earlier in the week, when Riku had asked if it was wrong to be happy.
He lets out a quiet hum, squeezing Tenn gently. ]
I don't think being scared is pathetic. [ It's earnest and honest in that way Riku tends to be. ] Even when you're scared... I'll never think of Tenn-nii as pathetic. After all... Tenn-nii is the amazing brother I love more than anything.
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...You've really grown up, Riku.
[ He draws back and rubs at his eyes. They're swollen, obviously, but there's a fond look on his face when his eyes meet Riku's. ]
Thank you. Hearing you say things like that with a smile on your face -- it's enough to keep me standing here.
[ He really, sincerely does not know where he'd be without his twin here. ]
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That's when you weren't looking.
[ He considers something, then nods to himself. ]
Then... from now on, keep watching me, Tenn-nii. So you won't be so surprised next time. I'll show you how strong I am--strong enough to keep us both standing here.
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[ It's nice, to be able to say that to him. ]
I'm proud of you.
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[ He looks so touched. Riku smiles brightly, nodding. ]
I'm glad! Aha, hearing you say that... it makes me really happy.
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[ He's like, mostly joking, but also. He won't say it very often, so!!! ]
By the way -- [ He reaches over to his dresser and grabs...a TRIGGER dvd! Huh. ] I got this in the shop this week.